Sunday, February 24, 2008

Go Ahead and Ask Her


I like working on Sundays. Time and a half is totally worth blowing up the intense amount of balloon orders for Sunday birthday parties and baby showers.
I did not, however, get to blow up balloons today. Today I ran the register and individually price ticketed Beanie Babies.

You wish you could have my job!

I actually like the register a lot. It's a thinking job, unlike mindlessly stocking streamers, which only requires figuring out if the streamers are baby pink, pink, light pink, or bombay pink. I kid you not, give or take a hue.

But this month, we're asking customers to make a $1 donation to the local children's hospital. Nice in theory, especially when people actually donate, but it becomes wildly frustrating when they don't.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to come off as all high and mighty, and be like, "If you don't donate to the sick kids, you should hate yourself. Because I certainly hate you, you stupid-face!"
Because I know that every store you go in asks you to donate, and nobody can possibly donate to everything.
I don't care if you don't donate.
Well, to be truthful, if people do donate, I pack their bags much more neatly than I would if they didn't. But that's besides the point.
But if you don't want to donate, for the love of Marshmallow, just say no!
It's easy to say no. I say it all the time.
These are the answers I get instead:
"Um, not today thank you."
How about tomorrow then?
"Let's wait and see what the total comes to."
"It's $116.36."
"Oh. I guess not then."
Really? Because you just spent over a hundred dollars for your healthy kid's birthday party. What's a dollar to you at this point?
"I don't have any singles on me."
"The donation just gets added to your total."
"Um... no I don't have any singles."
I know you're not an idiot. You just told me that your "I'm 21 today! Buy me a drink!" button was supposed to be 30% off, which should make it $2.19. You figured that out in your head in about 5 seconds. Stop pretending that you don't know what I'm saying.
"The children's hospital already gets enough money as it is."
I hate you, you ignorant fool.
Please just say no if you don't want to donate. I don't care. Just don't waste my time when there are a serious amount of streamers that need stocking.
Okay, I'm good now. I can move on to knitting.
One Dashing is done, minus weaving in the ends. The pattern's actually really easy, and the thumb was so much easier to make than I thought it would be. I'm think about making Fetching with the yarn left over from Summertime Tunic.
Yes, that is a hole as a matter of fact. No I don't know how it got there. Thank you for noticing though.
I finished it last night when Boyfriend and I went to Boyfriend's BFF's house, which consisted of five guys playing some gory war video game, and me making a fingerless mitt. This is how the conversation went:
"You guys! I just made a thumb!"
*Silence, except the clicking of controller buttons.*
"I did! I was afraid I was going to mess it up, but I didn't, and now it's a thumb!"
*War noises and the repeated use of the f-bomb.*
"It's really hot in here."
*Every boy in room immediately says, "Sorry Susan, it's because I'm here!"*
"That's not what I meant, but thank you for your attentiveness."
*Polite laughter from Boyfriend, who is trying to pretend that he's paying attention to me amidst his video game. I am not fooled. I know where I stand compared to an XBox.*
Then that round of game play ended.
"That's a glove!" exclaimed Boyfriend.
"Uh, yeah I know, it's been a glove for, like, 20 minutes."
"I'm going to try it on."
"Be my guest."
"It fits!"
"I know, I made it that way."
I should mention that Boyfriend is otherwise very attentive.
Song of the Day:
"So go ahead and ask her for happy ever after. Cause nobody knows what’s coming, so why not take a chance on loving." -Chris Rice, "Lemonade"

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

maybe instead of giving up junk food for lent, you could give up hating the non-donating people :) :) or maybe for every cookie you slip up on you could try to kindly pack up an evasive non-donator's bag as neatly as the donator. anyway, enjoyed the post.

The Dollars said...

I just found your blog off Knit & Tonic and I love it! You're excellent at expressing your thoughts, and even though you didn't get your 8th grade book published I think you've got a good shot in the future!